Dreamy Boy Troubles

I’m having imaginary boy troubles.

I sound crazy. Let me explain.

I have a boyfriend. For the sake of privacy, let’s call him J. So J and I have been going out for about a month now, but we have a long complex history that is way to crazy to get into right now. We are both exceptionally awkward but it’s okay. We’ve also had our ups and downs, but everything has always worked out in our favor.

Enter this other guy. Well not even enter. Let’s call him B.

To make and excruciatingly long story short, we all went to prom this past weekend and drama occurred between my brother’s prom date and B and everyone is upset about it. I’ll go into more detail about this drama in another post. I have a whole other rant just on that.


B and I aren’t really friends. We’re more friends of friends. My best friend talks to him a lot, he sits near me in two of my classes, and if we’re in a group context, I’ll talk to him. But we’re not quite friends.

After school today I went to grab lunch with my brother, his best friend, and mine. After eating and dropping everyone at home, I walked in the house, no plans and a full stomach in tow, and took a nap, per usual. During this nap, I had a dream. A damn good dream.

And this dream was about B.

In this dream, I was still dating J, but I went to a party and at the party I was hanging out with B. We were just talking and such, but he was kind of drunk. He started going around the party, talking to different groups of people and every time he moved, he would grab my hand and pull me along with him.

At one point, he took a seat and pulled me down into his lap (in a cute way not a creepy way). I was sitting there for a while, having fun and just thoroughly enjoying myself. Then I made eye contact with one of my friends, and they gave me a Dude what are you doing? look. So I got up off B’s lap and went over to join my friend.

But I was really sad the whole time.

That was basically how my dream ended, but throughout this dream, I kept waking up from my nap and without even thinking I would make myself go back to sleep because I didn’t want the dream to end and I wanted to keep hanging out with this Dream B.

After I fully woke up, I realized what was going on and got kind of mad at myself. But part of me still wanted to go back to that dream. Because even if I wasn’t dating someone. Even if he hadn’t cause a lot of drama with my brother. Even if B wasn’t the biggest flirt in the world and would never go for someone like me. We weren’t friends. We didn’t talk.

That is, until today.

Not 2 hours after this unexpected emotional roller coaster of a dream, B texts me.

He was texting me to figure out when he could apologize to my brother for the drama he caused and I helped him. From there we branched off into a three-hour conversation. We talked about classes, old memories, how crappy drama is. He said I’m wholesome in a way very few people are. I know that’s not a typical compliment girls want from a guy, but it was sweet. I appreciated it. The conversation made me laugh more than I thought it would. The conversation made me happier than I think it should.

So that’s my predicament. I may be catching feelings for a guy because of a dream that wasn’t real and a conveniently placed conversation. While I have a boyfriend. J’s going off to college at the end of the summer. Even if I start to deal with this situation when there isn’t a boyfriend in the picture, B is a flirt. He flirts with everyone. And he does things with girls. I haven’t even kissed J. I haven’t kissed anyone since middle school on a dare.

I need advice.

Music Recommendations / My Favorites

Here are some of my favorite bands/artists! I tried my best to categorize them into genres but I am not even sure what genre most music fits into, so some of these may be categorized wrong. Whoops, but I hope you enjoy!


Panic! At the Disco –

Personal Faves: The Ballad of Mona Lisa, Hallelujah, Nicotine, But It’s Better If You Do, Death of a Bachelor

All Time Low –

Personal Faves: The Reckless and the Brave (both acoustic and not), If These Sheets Were the States, Irony of Chocking on a Lifesaver, For Baltimore (both acoustic and not), Dancing With A Wolf, Missing You, Merry Christmas Kiss My Ass

Bastille –

Personal Faves: What Would You Do, Icarus, Daniel In The Den, Laughter Lines

Bring Me the Horizon –

Personal Faves: Drown, Blasphemy, True Friends, Happy Song, Throne Shadow Moses, Can You Feel My Heart

Fall Out Boy –

Personal Faves: Dance Dance, This  Ain’t A Scene It’s An Arms Race, Twin Skeleton’s, Novocaine, Jet Pack Blues, Irresistible, I Don’t Care

Melanie Martinez –

Personal Faves: Cry Baby, Dollhouse, Carousel, Pity Party, Tag you-re it, Mrs. Potato Head, Mad Hatter

Twenty One Pilots –

Personal Faves: Migraine, Holding On To You, Ode To Sleep, Stressed Out, House Of Gold, Car Radio, The Pantaloon

Sleeping With Sirens –

Personal Faves: If You Can’t Hang, Low, If I’m James Dean You’re Audrey Hepburn, Gold, Better Off Dead, The Strays, Save Me A Spark


5 Seconds of Summer –

Personal Faves: Amnesia, Mrs. All American, Heartbreak Girl, Beside You

Against The Current –

Personal Faves: Brighter, Paralyzed, Fireproof, Dreaming Alone, Infinity, Another You (Another Way)

Christina Perri –

Personal Faves: the words, arms, miles, bluebird

Sleeping At Last–

Personal Fave: Saturn

Sara Bareilles –

Personal Faves: When He Sees Me, Everything Changes, December, Satellite Call, Chasing the Sun, Fairytale, Cassiopeia, Bottle It Up


RWBY Soundtrack (Webshow/Anime-ish)

Undertale Soundtrack (Video Game)

Something Rotten! Soundtrack (Musical)

Wicked Soundtrack (Musical)

Once Upon A Mattress Soundtrack (Musical)

Hamilton Soundtrack (Musical)

In The Heights Soundtrack (Musical)

Tuck Everlasting Soundtrack (Musical)

Dodie Clark (Youtuber)


Fangirling: I Need Help

I will admit right here and now that I am a certifiable fangirl. It’s a legit problem. Admittedly, I very rarely cry at a TV show, book, or movie, but I can’t tell you the number of times my mom has walked in on screaming at the TV and/or my laptop screen. I just get so emotionally attached to these characters, and when the writers decide to throw them all into these really shitty situations and hurt my babies I get really emotional!  And this is just over single characters. Don’t even get me started on the ships. I’m pretty sure the idea of “shipping” is actively taking over my life. For example, I was playing one of the games on my phone, Neko Atsume, and to of my cats in the game were sitting on the same toy. Do you wanna know what I said? I went out at said “Aww, I ship these cats!” I shipped two cats from an app in which the cats never actually interact with one another. What is wrong with me?! Since I’m on the topic if ships and TV shows and such, here are a few of my all time OTPs.

-Stydia (Stiles and Lydia) from Teen Wolf on MTV

-Camsten (Cameron and Kirsten) from Stitchers on Freeform

-Camus (Camille and Linus) also from Stitchers

-Bellarke (Bellamy and Clarke) from The 100 on The CW and from the books

-Linctavia (Lincoln and Octavia) also from The 100

-Paige and Walter (I don’t know their ship name) from Scorpion on CBS

-Happy and Toby (once again I don’t know their ship name) also from Scorpion



Late Night Ideas

Are you ever in bed, literally about to fall asleep, when you get an idea and its almost as if you have to do whatever it is right that second? Because that is 100% me right now. I was laying in bed, about to fall asleep, when I got the idea to start a blog! I mean, there’s no harm in doing so, besides losing some hours of sleep, and chances are very few people are going to read this, so why not give it a shot, right? I’ve realized, after attempting to complete many of these late night ideas, that I have a horrible habit of starting things and not finishing them. This is most obviously seen in the hundreds of journals I have started to write in, yet never gotten more than a couple pages through before forgetting about them. So there is a large possibility that I will forget about this blog in a week and leave this post on its own, but I am going to try my best to actually post on here! Wish me luck!

P.S. – My cat is trying to step on my keyboard right now and it’s really hard to type! Help!

– Kathryn